You don’t deserve it

I was talking to my closest friend the other day (let’s call her Lila) about whether or not I should book a massage.  And well, no, it seems I shouldn’t.  ‘Lila’ pointed out that I shouldn’t get a massage because:

I don’t have time.  She said I should work on my new business every hour of every day to make it a success… plus she pointed out that I haven’t spent enough time with my friends or family recently (because I’ve been working on the business) so if I’m going to do something nice it should be with them… They deserve to have someone be nice to them.  And this brought Lila to her key point…

I don’t deserve it.  She said feeling good isn’t something that just ‘anyone’ deserves – least of all me.  She pointed out that you have to be a much better person than I am to feel good.  So I definitely shouldn’t have a massage…

And when she said that, I started to wonder if she really is a friend.  I can’t imagine saying that to a friend… to someone I loved and cared for.

And (you’ve probably guessed already) but, she’s not my friend.  No-one would be friends with someone so horrible!  No, she’s worse than a friend – she’s me.  She’s the person inside my head beasting me from the inside.  The one who puts me down, the one who tells me I’m not good enough.  The one who thinks I don’t deserve it.

But I do.  I deserve it as much as my friends do, as much as you do.  And you deserve it as much as him… and her… Everyone deserves good times and love and care and attention.   No matter who they are or what they have done.

So, I’m going to do what I would do if that was someone real talking to me – I’m going to walk away.  I’m going to walk away from the mean.   I’m going to be nice to myself – and so should you.

I don’t necessarily mean that you have to book a massage, eat a chocolate cake or go to a spa.  I mean say something nice to yourself, something you would say to a friend.   Give yourself some encouragement.  Give yourself a well done for something (anything) you’ve done today – and then thank yourself for being kind to someone (yourself).

And, then you might start to feel like you deserve a treat.  I have…  so, I’m off to book that massage…